Friday, October 24, 2008

you're gonna love this...

Silas and I went to the commissary this afternoon. Our bagger was a sweet lady that has bagged our groceries before. When I got Silas out of the cart to carry him to the car, she sweetly let it be known that he wasn't dressed warmly enough. She took his blanket out of the cart and wrapped us both up.

Now before you get offended, it was really sweet.

We walked and talked on the way to Priscilla the minivan. She has a 21 year old son and asked if Silas was my only child, etc.

And then she said, "I have a Black husband too. My son looks a lot like your son."

I said, "Oh...you do." Smile.

That was not the time to go into lots of details. What will really be fun is when Marshall, Silas and I go back together and she sees my husband...my white husband. :)

Last week when I went to vote, we had a similar experience. I was wearing a t-shirt from a 5K race we did last year. The Librarian asked Silas if he ran with Mommy or something like that. I said, "Oh no, he wasn't born yet." And she said, "Well, he still could have been with you...you know, in your tummy."

Again I responded with something like, "Oh yeah, you're right" instead of going into details.

I don't mind people knowing Silas is adopted. In fact, I love to talk about it. I don't introduce him as my adopted son, just like my friend wouldn't introduce her son as the one conceived on birth control or delivered by c-section. Most times our story is obvious, but these anonymous instances where strangers just see a Mom and her son, well, those are sweet too.

13 comments:

E said...

Oh...that's so sweet. I always get the looks where people are trying to figure us out - since my oldest is bio (and looks like me) and my youngest doesn't look like me. I can seriously see the wheels turning. It happens a lot. However, I do get lots of sweet comments about how beautiful both of my boys are...makes up for the "you three don't make sense together" looks I get from other people. Sigh.

Steve and Anna said...

Steve & I just laughed with joy at over this post! I love the..."Oh yeah you are right," like you would have forgotten him being in your womb! :-) I also love how he was "born" in your heart and the sweetness of these people knowing you are Mom and son even if they don't know exactly how that happened! We are smiling over God's goodness and looking forward to our own funny stories.

Rob and Bri said...

That is sweet. And it isn't so far fetched to think Silas is a bio kiddo of yours- your passport photos did look an awful lot alike, remember? And with Marshall not being it there it just adds to the "maybe' of it all.
Anyhoo... You'll have to let us know what the commissary lady says when you all go back sometime.
=)

Autumn said...

Too funny! Although I do think he looks like you! Have a nice (rainy?) weekend!

jammie said...

jill u inspire me everytime...thankx once again for reminding me of the "not"so important things in life (is that make sense? hihi in my head it does)

Amy said...

I think commissary baggers were born without a filter. While most comments are sweet and they mean well, I don't think those ladies (and some gents) think before they open their mouth. Remind me to tell you sometime how one of them called me, "You...big like horse." Glad to hear Marshall is back.

Oatsvall Team said...

I am sure you will have many more experiences like that ... The only thing that bothers me now is since the girls are older people love to ask are the "REAL" sisters .. I know what they are asking, but it is insensitive ... I always reply yes, but when they go into further detail like how did that happen I have to whisper to them and try to shut them up ...

About my SHOPPING FOR A CAUSE ... If you go to my sidebar there is an adoptive site for purchasing items ... I love RED THREAD STITCHES, SISTER TO SISTER JEWLERY, JUNK POSSE, and not sure what is the name, but there is a Jennifer that makes amazing clothing also .. Plus t-shirts TINYROCKSTAR.COM ... these shirts feed an orphan for a month ... I also love RED products from GAP ...

There are others, but I can't remember the exact site ...

Enjoy your weekend ...

Yarnsmith said...

Since we go out a lot together - all four of us - it is pretty apparent to most people what's going on. :) I've still had children ask me if my children are adopted, which I think is so sweet.

I've had lots of people wanting to know if my children are "really" brother and sister. I usually answer "Yes and yes...if they weren't before, they would be now."

Amy and Amelia AiChun said...

Oh, I love those moments, too. I rarely have people assume that I gave birth to Amelia, but they do sort of look like they are trying to figure us out sometimes. My favorite people are the ones who look, obviously put 2 and 2 together, and then give me a little knowing nod or smile. It's like they are giving out their own personal blessing.

K.P. said...

Love it! Silas DOES look like you, so I can see where people may assume that he gets is coloring from his (not currently with you) Daddy. :)

Like E, I too see people looking at us and wondering "what?? How'd that happen?" I seriously think they are trying to figure out which kids are step kids or if I had an affair. :)

Love ya!
KP

Anonymous said...

According to the new international anthropologists study based on DNA and other criteria, only 22% of the Ethiopian population (83 million) is categorized as Black (the African group). The rest is classified not as black or white but Habesha (mixed race). As the study says some in the Amharic group (Habesha) contain up to 80% of the white race DNA compositions including those look darker but having the Habesha faces.

For these reasons, your son will be always identified including as your biological son. Look Obama, He looks exactly a Typical Habesha.

Sabrina said...

I think his little shirt in the Oct pic sums it up just right, "good looks run in the family" You all are adorable and simply the family match made in heaven. Glad you see the humor in the questioning/comments/digging that people do regarding Silas. He's too cute to ignore : ) . Bless that babe !!
heart,sabrina
PS. I got a Blog name!So I am who I am when I post (though I did always put my name along with the anonymous) : )

Jenna Marie Howard said...

Hello
I just wanted to stop by and tell you I enjoy reading your blog. I am adopted and have three other adopted brothers and sisters and find such encouragement knowing you a adoptive parent who obviously loves your children. But i must tell you i too have had the same experience but with my siblings. My sister is Italian, one brother is German and the other is Chinese.
I am the Director of Public Relations for a non-profit organization called World Orphans. We build family style church based orphan homes all over the world and our mission is simple E3 to reach each church…each child…each community. I would love for you to take a look at our website and let me know if you have any questions. (www.worldorphans.com) I hope you will have a glorious blessed day!

Jenna M. Howard
-Director of Public Relations
www.Worldorphans.org
Jennah@worldorphans.org
www.JennaMarieHoward.com